In paying homage to Valentine’s Day, we couldn’t seriously leave out a Chocolate Martini for that special cupid-esque day of choco-treats and hot monkey love.

So, what about a Chocolate Mint Martini? Surely, if you like mint chocolate chip ice cream, this is a definite “chip” off the old block and this free recipe doesn’t cost a “mint”. (Polite Chuckle). And, yes, I am serious and stop calling me Shirley.

So let’s talk about Valentine’s Day for a moment. It’s a day where if you are with someone you absolutely adore, it is the most wonderful day of the year - filled with love and romance, chocolate and candy, a romantic dinner (perhaps a pink iPod) and if you are really, really good, maybe diamonds. But, if you are not currently with someone, or recently divorced or dumped, it is deemed as a holiday with little more meaning than Purim. Which I never understood either. It’s worse than Purim. It is the “Day of Hostility Against Women with Boyfriends or Husbands Who Get Really Awesome Gifts While I am Single and I Hope You Die Day”. Otherwise known as Un-Valentine’s Day to the masses.

If you are in the “D” category - dateless, divorced, dumped (or damn ugly) - Valentine’s is an evil government conspiracy whose only mission is to rip the very soul out of hard working Americans, and then gouged by the Capitalist Pig conglomerate Hellmark with sugary sweet marketing that gives me diabetes just reading the cards, and then for good measure, have some 18 year old cutesy counter girl at Godiva chocolates wickedly brainwash you into believing that if you don’t have anyone to give you Godiva chocolate, well then you should just take rusty knitting needles and gouge your little eyes out and spend the rest of your miserable life roaming the earth in agony and despair. Okay, so I went a little Oedipus-ballistic on that for a moment.

Can you tell, that I, too, dear reader, was once dateless and dumped? I know the feeling. It’s awful. And when someone you know runs up to you with a big freaking smile that extends from one ear to the other, practically shoving their ring finger up your nose to show you their new 2 karat, marquis cut diamond ring without permission, you envision at that moment that YOU TOO can own the ACME Junior Decapitator and Wood Chipper.

I have unfortunately never gone through the “D” word (divorce) and I hope that I have never been cited on any “Damn Ugly” websites - never thought I really looked THAT bad - kind of like I fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down…

The reason I have never been divorced, because I was never married. DOH. I guess it was “Religious Differences”. He tended to think he was God, I tended to disagree…

But, that was before. I am now in a wonderful, healthy relationship now. I am now on the “A Team”. And it certainly helps when Cabana Boy is 13 years younger, fixes your computer all the time and buys you Apple computers and diamond earrings. And goes to the store late on a Saturday night with the wind howling in 14 degree weather to buy me Tampax tampons. Now, THAT’S love…learn from me boys and girls…

OMG - I just realized - I have become what once I detested!

But, you know what…I wouldn’t change this feeling (or Cabana Boy) for all the money in Dubai…and I will send out to all you Lonely Hearts a big cosmic wish and good mojo that you find love before next Valentine’s Day - as pure and wonderful as yours dearly.

But I digress….Let’s get back to Martinis, shall we?

Chocolate Mint Martini
1 1/2 ounce vodka
1/2 ounce creme de cacao
1/2 ounce green creme de menthe
1 Splash half and half
1 Splash club soda
1 Sprig fresh mint
4 chocolate chips

Directions:
Combine all ingredients but the fresh mint and chocolate chips in a cocktail shaker over ice. Shake and strain into chilled martini glass. Garnish with mint and chocolate chips.

Here is another one with Bailey’s®:

Bailey’s® Mint Chocolate Martini
2 ounces Bailey’s® Mint Chocolate Irish Cream
1/2 ounce Vanilla Vodka
Fresh mint
Chocolate stick

Pour Bailey’s® Mint Chocolate Irish Cream and Vanilla Vodka into a cocktail shaker with ice; shake cocktail and strain into a glass. Garnish with fresh mint and chocolate stick to serve.

Enjoy!

If you have a Martini recipe you want mentioned in Martini Monday, please comment below or email us at feedback@atbar.com.